Dear Madelyn,

Why did this happen to you, such a girl full of beauty, smiles, happiness, love, and determination? We thank the lord every day for your wonderful spirit in our family and would never trade any of our moments with you. It is because of your spirit, beauty, smiles, happiness, love, and most of all determination that has and will get you through this trial the Doctors call Doose. You have never let anything get in your way and I know you never will.

I have spent many months thinking about this post and as you can see it has taken me many months and even going on years and tries to let my heart be in the right place. I guess that is what such a big trial will do to your Mom. So here is the post, I hope it will show you some clarification when you are old enough to sit down and read it about my take on the happens of the situation.

A cruise was booked for your Dad and I, in January 2011 Grandpa and Grandma where so excited to have you and Mason in their home for the seven days that we would be gone, and you and Mason where excited to have Grandpa and Grandma to your selves. The night before we where to leave Madelyn you fell over for no explained reason in a restaurant. I or no one saw you fall over and I thought you tripped over a chair you where climbing on. Later that night while hanging out with Grandma you fell over again for no explained reason. I was little worry but the tickets were bought and everything in place, we would continue with our trip.

While on our way to Denver where our flight left Grandma called me and said that you had, had another falling spell. I was worried but having just taken you in a few day before to the doctor for an ear infection I thought that it may have been a dizzy spell from driving over many mountains to get to grandpa's and grandma's house. I had grandma call a local pediatrician who said that she should just take her to the ER as they didn't have the resources to deal with a case like yours.

In the ER they ran many tests including, urine analysis, blood tests, chest X-Ray, and a MRI with nothing showing the reason for your falling spells and then in the midst of explanations from the Pediatrician you had a Grand Mall Seizure that lasted for a few minutes and you stopping breathing for 30 seconds. At that time the doctor contacted the Children's Hospital in Denver and was told to prepare you to be life flighted to Denver because of the Grand Mall Seizure and your stopping breathing they didn't want to leave you without constant medical Care.

This all happened while your dad and I where on the air on our way to Ft. Lauder dale and I was on the phone when I could be with your pediatrician in Grand Junction and she assured me to continue on my trip that it was probably just from her ear infection as these can cause children to have falling spells. However when we landed in Ft. Lauder dale I immediately called Grandma and she told me to fly back that you where being life flighted to Denver. The next flight back was not for 12 hours so we had to spend a sleepless night in a hotel waiting for the morning to come so we could get back to you.

The Flight back to Denver was so long and landing could not come soon enough. When it did we had the hardest time finding Children's Hospital and so it took us an hour longer to get to you. 

When we got to your room the doctors were conducting a test on your brain waves to see what kind of seizues you were having.  You had nodes and wires all over your head with gauze wraped around your head to keep the nodes on, what a site to come in and see you and it just broke my heart to see you so miserable.

My first seizure that I saw and experienced was a Grand Mall and you stoped breathing for 15 seconds which sent me over the edge.  The nurse was so good and immeditally push the emergency button and with in 30 seconds your room was swarming with doctors.  You started to breath on your own thankfully and after your seizure was over you were really upset and wouldn't stop crying for 30 minutes.  Apparently this was your reaction to seizures, most kids sleep after, but I imagine it is really upsetting and confussing after. 

You had a few smaller seizures that night and the doctors decided to put you on Valuim to help the seizures stop immeditally which they did and the next morning our wonderful little Madelyn came back to us.  You remained seizure free for the next two day which was such a wonderful blessing.  I owe it all to the many, many prayers that were given on your behalf. 

Taking you home was one of the scariest thing that I have ever done.  I felt like I was taking home a brand new alien baby that I didn't know how to take care of.  What was I going to do if you had another seizure and stopped breathing again.  You had a cute pink helment and many family around you to watch you every move, and that is what we did.  Your Grandpa and Grandma Whipple helped us as we went back to their house for the rest of the week which was so nice to have thier help.  Your didn't have anymore seizures for 6 months, I started to think that the whole experience was a dream and you had been mis-diagnose.   But every time you grow you seem to start having drop seizures we have to have blood work and increase the dose of your medicine.  We just feel so so blessed that you don't have a big seizure everyday like the doctore made us beleive that you would when we left the hospital. 

You have been growing amazing with no delays or learning disabilities.  You are able to be the wonderful normal girl that you were before you were diagnosed with the exception of having to take medicine 2-3 times a day.  I am so thankful everyday that we have you with us and I pray that we continue to be as blessed as we have been. 

Love you Baby Girl,

  

Mom